My final thoughts before the blessed oblivion.

My toes are cold thank goodness I made a hot water bottle I like hot water bottles they remind me of home I want to go home I am really homesick I don't think mum realizes how homesick I am I wonder why they call it being homesick cause it's not like I'm sick of my home it's actually the opposite I don't want to go to school tomorrow Ow random finger cramp that was weird Why the fuck do I notice finger cramp when I have back pain constantly I don't think my back is ever going to get better and then I have just wasted all of my life I wonder what it's like to date a girl I wonder what kind of guy I'd be like I should plait my hair before I fall asleep or else it will get knotty I hate my hair so much I wish I had Leah's hair cause she's got such nice hair maybe I should shave my head or get dreadlocks that would be cool if I quit ballet I'd shave my head and be a total hippy that's a cool idea My finger is still actually cramping it's my pinky finger which is odd I wish I was pretty and skinny I wonder what it's like to swim in the arctic I wonder if parts of your body would actually get ice around them cause it would be that cold I should try and do that whole lucid dreaming thing again that would be the best I would have the best times in my dream I love dreams I wish I could record dreams or actually live in my dreams cause even when bad shit happens in my dream It's so much less stressful I'm not sure why but it is I wonder if my personality is the same in my dreams or if it's like my brain promoting and idolizing myself so that's why I like dreams more cause I'm actually a better person in my dreams cause my brain deletes all my flaws when I'm asleep that's a cool concept I should write about that sometime I wonder what time it is Why can't I fall asleep I wonder what humans will look like in a billion years I wonder if we'll develop some really weird body part or trait like the ability to hibernate or maybe we'll get fins to swim cause if global warming is melting everything we need a way to move around maybe we'll be able to breathe underwater too and can then ultimately live underwater I wonder what the center of the earth is like I remember once on that magic school bus tv show they went to the center of the earth and I was really jealous of the students even though I knew they were fake and then that time they went into a human body how weird would that be having a tiny bus inside your body..


Ophelia