Blind.

I was sitting alone, in a carriage built for over a dozen passengers, when he walks in. Tall, slim, handsome, clean cut, defined. Mid-twenties, maybe? Oh, and blind.
He was well dressed; dark blue jeans with a charcoal button down shirt, carrying a briefcase and wearing big, dark shades. Easily mistaken for "normal" sunsafe citizen, only broken by the woman wrapped around his arm, quite obviously steering him in the direction of a seat. He looked good and I wondered which one of us got dressed in the dark this morning.

Him and his partner? friend? companion? continue their witty banter as the train begins to move. She talks about some movie she wants to see and her friend who helped produce it, he grins intermittedly and occasionally puts in his two cents worth.

I want to talk to him. I am as curious as George (#curious george): Were you born like this, or was it sprung on you in a freak accident? Most importantly, what do you see? Is it black, is it.. nothing? (#can nothing be colourless?) How do you dream? Maybe every morning he resents waking up, knowing he is leaving the only place that he can encounter all five senses. Does he miss it?

I'm almost jealous of him, talking to this gorgeous woman, oblivious to all but her. Eyesight is a gift, true, but the shallowness it brings is a curse. Sure, "love is blind", but it's not. As much as we'd like to be blind to all but personality, what we see is far too blunt. We can't step past that ugly haircut/look at the nose/my god she has four chins/why must he wear that fluro lycra to every date. We prejudge people we could love, and it sucks shit.

The blind man laughs at something the woman says, and he pulls me out of my thoughts. I can't help but think that he's seen a lot more in people that I will ever be able to.

Ophelia

Youth.

Every moment, a funeral.
Our 'old' selves passing away.
Ephemerel youth.
Springtime for death.

The Alcatraz: conformity.

Conformity (#very cool word phonetically) is a very hard concept to grasp:
1. to act in accord with the prevailing standards, attitudes, practices, etc., of society or a group
2. to act in accordance or harmony; comply (usually followed by to )

Every earthling conforms - driven by our survival instinct. We conform to live. We comply with "the norm" and live our lives within these guidelines to avoid becoming a target for bullying, criticism, exlusion. This goes without saying.

Except, nowadays, conformity is no longer the norm. Non-conformity has become the hip thing the cool kids are up to. Hence, the majority of us are now conforming to the idea of non-conformity.

Confused? I'll conform to you, "Me too."

Ophelia

Boredom of Buzz.

A short story I wrote when I was approx. 6

Penguin!!!!!


One day I woke up and ther was 
a penguin doing a dance on
my bed.
I called "MUM! DAD! when
mum and dad came in the
penguin was gone


A reflection of how I have grown up. Imaginative with poor writing skills. 


Buzz

My final thoughts before the blessed oblivion.

My toes are cold thank goodness I made a hot water bottle I like hot water bottles they remind me of home I want to go home I am really homesick I don't think mum realizes how homesick I am I wonder why they call it being homesick cause it's not like I'm sick of my home it's actually the opposite I don't want to go to school tomorrow Ow random finger cramp that was weird Why the fuck do I notice finger cramp when I have back pain constantly I don't think my back is ever going to get better and then I have just wasted all of my life I wonder what it's like to date a girl I wonder what kind of guy I'd be like I should plait my hair before I fall asleep or else it will get knotty I hate my hair so much I wish I had Leah's hair cause she's got such nice hair maybe I should shave my head or get dreadlocks that would be cool if I quit ballet I'd shave my head and be a total hippy that's a cool idea My finger is still actually cramping it's my pinky finger which is odd I wish I was pretty and skinny I wonder what it's like to swim in the arctic I wonder if parts of your body would actually get ice around them cause it would be that cold I should try and do that whole lucid dreaming thing again that would be the best I would have the best times in my dream I love dreams I wish I could record dreams or actually live in my dreams cause even when bad shit happens in my dream It's so much less stressful I'm not sure why but it is I wonder if my personality is the same in my dreams or if it's like my brain promoting and idolizing myself so that's why I like dreams more cause I'm actually a better person in my dreams cause my brain deletes all my flaws when I'm asleep that's a cool concept I should write about that sometime I wonder what time it is Why can't I fall asleep I wonder what humans will look like in a billion years I wonder if we'll develop some really weird body part or trait like the ability to hibernate or maybe we'll get fins to swim cause if global warming is melting everything we need a way to move around maybe we'll be able to breathe underwater too and can then ultimately live underwater I wonder what the center of the earth is like I remember once on that magic school bus tv show they went to the center of the earth and I was really jealous of the students even though I knew they were fake and then that time they went into a human body how weird would that be having a tiny bus inside your body..


Ophelia

Two Halfs

The world is set in pairs;
                                        Ying Yang
                                        Good Evil
                                        Husband Wife
                                        X chromosome Y chromosome
                                        

Usually obsessively opposed to the typical*,  I have a grave fear of ending up alone.
Constantly worried that what I do now, in my youth - the decisions I make, the actions I commit - will have a dire impact on
who I will be
where I will be,
thus possibly impacting
who I will meet in the future.

Consistantly exposed to sappy love songs on the radio, I'm brainwashed into believing that
"being by yourself is a path only the sad people live."
(OPHELIA AGREES WITH THIS. FUCK YOU, RADIO)

Growing old, living old. Growing alone;
the part of solitude that nobody bothers to mention.
                                                      No partner
                                                      No love
                                                      No hope
                                                      Only cats


Even though the world's system and existance is based on pairs - my someone and I will, ironically, be one. Two as a single unit: living, loving, being together.

I have no fucking clue why I am afraid.

Buzz


*Wise words from Lady GaGa

SLAVE \ РАБ - Aleksej Tarutz

Part1

Part2

Waiting for the doctor

People talk to me,
far too quickly for my own liking.
I agree,
nod,
and smile,
simply because I lack the time to form the perfect response.

What makes me,
me,
disappears in a desperate attempt
to be recognized as 
an individual. 

How ironic -
Panicked by the pause
between statement and rebuttal,
I nod,
and sacrifice thinking 
for false individuality.

I've decided
I'm going to be myself 
for now.

27th Post.

Consumed by
laziness? Wanderlust? The feeling that I'm becoming normal, plain, mundane?
Whatever it is, I cannot concentrate on anything else.
Unable to assign and complete any tasks,
I'm instead consumed by the overwhelming compulsion
to write.

The words I put down seem irrevelant.
No goals in mind,
no purpose,
no intention.
Just writing for an unexplainable,
yet excellent, feeling.

These ramblings seem pointless,
but actually reveal
disguised emotions that can't be expressed elsewhere:
only here can I expose them,
without them being tainted with greed, denial,
or doubt.

For these few minutes in which I type,
my ache of uncertainty is dulled.
The release reminds me of feelings I'm yet to experience;
sex, love, death, drugs.

Too many secrets cause
too many lies.
I can forget these secrets when I write.
Nay, I can accept these secrets when
I write.

Ophelia

"Among great giants, nothing but grains of sand"